gwen101087 - pictures, videos, jokes

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This girl is so damn hot..

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gwen101087 submitted 3 yrs ago

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Vibrator Vending Machine

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gwen101087 submitted 3 yrs ago

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Bag over your head

A dog, a cat, and a penis are sitting around a camp fire one night.

The dog says, "My life sucks, my master makes me do my business on a fire hydrent!".

The cat says, "I dont think so, my master makes me do my business in a box of cat litter."

The penis outraged, says "At least your master doesnt put a bag over your head and make you do push ups until you throw up!"

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gwen101087 submitted 3 yrs ago

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One tug, two tugs....

Two deaf people got married. During the first week of marriage, they found they were unable to communicate in the bedroom when they turn the lights off because they cant see each other using sign language.

After several nights of fumbling around and misunderstandings, the wife decides to find a solution.

"Honey," she signs, "Why dont we agree on some simple signals? For instance, at night, if you want to have sex with me, reach over and squeeze my right breast one time. If you dont want to have sex, reach over and squeeze my left breast one time."

The husband thinks this is a great idea and signs back to his wife, "Great idea, now if you want to have sex with me, reach over and pull on penis one time. If you dont want to have sex, reach over and pull on my penis....fifty times."

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gwen101087 submitted 3 yrs ago

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10 inch BIC

Two Men were out fishing when one decides to have a smoke. John asks Sam if he has a lighter. He replies, and hands the other a 10 inch long BIC lighter.

Surprised John asks "Where did you get this?"

Sam replies " Oh I have a personal genie."

John asks "Can I make a wish?"

Sure says Sam "Just make sure that you speak clearly cause he is a little hard at hearing"

"Ok I will" says John as he rubs the lamp a genie appears and asks what he wants.

John says "I want a Million Bucks"

The genie says OK and goes back to his bottle and 10 seconds later a million ducks fly over head.

John looks at Sam, "Your genie realy sucks at hearing doesnt he?"

Sam replies "Do you realy think I asked for a 10 inch BIC?"

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gwen101087 submitted 3 yrs ago

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Does the trick every time

A little boy and his grandfather are raking leaves in the yard. The little boy sees an earthworm trying to get back into its hole. He says, "Grandpa, I bet I can put that worm back in that hole." The grandfather replies, "Ill bet you five dollars you cant. Its too wiggly and limp to put back in that little hole."

The little boy runs into the house and comes back out with a can of hair spray. He sprays the worm until it is straight and stiff as a board. The boy then proceeds to put the worm back into the hole. The grandfather hands the little boy five dollars, grabs the hair spray and runs into the house.

Thirty minutes later the grandfather comes back out and hands the boy another five dollars. The little boy says, "Grandpa, you already gave me five dollars." The grandfather replies, "I know. Thats from your Grandma."

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gwen101087 submitted 3 yrs ago

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Taser Surprise

"I've got a surprise, too. I'm sleeping with your best friend."

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gwen101087 submitted 3 yrs ago