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     coopes64 submitted 3 yrs ago

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     coopes64 submitted 3 yrs ago

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     coopes64 submitted 3 yrs ago

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My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds.'

I bought her a set of scales.

And then the fight started..

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     coopes64 submitted 3 yrs ago

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My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels.
She asked, 'What's on the TV?'
I said, 'Dust.'

And then the fight started...

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     coopes64 submitted 3 yrs ago

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A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.
She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'

The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'

And then the fight started.....

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     coopes64 submitted 3 yrs ago

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My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.

My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'

'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.'

'My God!' says my wife, 'who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'

And then the fight started....

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     coopes64 submitted 3 yrs ago

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I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car. You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny? Yeah, well I couldn't believe it.... He was a DWARF!!!
He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, "I AM NOT HAPPY !!!"

So, I looked down at him and said, "Well, then which one are you?"

And then the fight started.....

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     coopes64 submitted 3 yrs ago

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Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, and slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the
garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day.

I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, "The weather out there is terrible."

My loving wife of 10 years replied, "Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?"

And that's how the fight started...

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     coopes64 submitted 3 yrs ago

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A man is in bed with his Thai-girlfriend.

After having a great sex , she spends the next hour just stroking his dangly bit, something she had lovingly done on many occasions.

Rather enjoying it, he turns and asks her: 'Why do you love doing that ?'

She replies: 'Because I really miss mine...'

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     coopes64 submitted 3 yrs ago

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